Week 9

Making Your Church More Inviting by Roy M Oswald

This book was a bit different than some of the others on our sabbatical reading list. It is not a book filled with 'things to do'. Instead it is a workbook for use by parishes to "explore ways in which church members can invite and welcome others to their church with integrity, authenticity, and ease". As other writers have emphasized, hospitality is not something that can be faked or manufactured. If it is to be realized by guests and visitors alike, it must be genuine. The author strives to help parishes find their genuine forms of hospitality, in other words, being who they truly are, not trying to develop a facade that entices people to become part of something they would like to be, but offers those God sends the parish a real image of who they are.

Through a 15 session process, the author guides a group of individuals through an assessment of the parish's current practices to identify those areas on which they can build, and those areas needing some work to overcome the obstacles every parish faces as it strives to grow. Interestingly, the author begins with a summary of the types of churches and addresses some of the same underlying, often unseen, barriers to growth that the author of Raising the Roof highlighted. Before undertaking such a process, like others, the author also agrees that the community must desire to grow. Such growth must be desired, not to balance the budget, but to help others to enter into and grow in their relationship with God through Christ.

What makes the process described by the author different than others I have encountered, is that there is an intentionality given to prayerful discernment. These are not simply brainstorming sessions to develop a list of programs and processes, that in the end up sitting on a shelf; they are not tools to use to force change upon a community that does not sense a call to change; and they are not a means through which clergy can pass the buck to others. Each session is intended to help its participants identify the parish's ministry to both those who God sends and those who are already part of the community. Why the two pronged approach? Mostly because once a person has made the decision to become a member, some communities turn their attention to the next person they hope will decide likewise. When this happens, the welcoming feeling a new member once enjoyed begins to fade and they begin to feel unimportant, maybe even invisible. Once these feeling have taken hold, it is only a matter of time before they begin looking for the preverbal back door. At the heart of this author's message, like so many others, is the need for relationships and engagement. In modern vernacular, they need to not only feel the love, they need to be able to express it too.

Ideally, the workshop would be made up of eight to ten people, some of whom are current leaders in the parish; and others, whose gifts and passions for inviting and welcoming, bring an authenticity and integrity to the process that helps the end product truly reflect the community's visible, and invisible, presence and being. The team should be multi-generational and comprised of both new and long-time members alike. It should also be as diverse as the parish so to include the voice and perspective of the various groups within the community. Unfortunately, the reality is that to build such a team would be next to impossible. So parishes are encouraged to begin where they are able with those who feel most called to take on the commitment of 15 sessions, and those who are open to the possibilities such discernment reveals. Only in this way, is the end result genuine.

I will not cover each of the fifteen sessions in this review. Suffice it to say, the questions tackled during each session (which the author envisions as 2-hours each) are intended to peel back the layers of the onion we call hospitality to get to the core of what binds us together and to then let go of the stuff we have allowed to contain it or even hide it from the view of both those whom God sends us and from ourselves. One area I found enlightening, was the session looking at the parish expectations (both written and unwritten) for membership. Others have written about this but none have addressed it as directly as this author. If we say all are welcome, but choose to acknowledge only those who look like us, think like us, or who are willing to be controlled by us, we are not really an inviting church; and those who enter will sense it quicker than we realize it.

Another area that the author delves into is how the parish interacts with and engages youth. Youth programs on Sunday mornings, or during the week, should not be childcare services; nor should they be without substance. Youth have questions they want answered just as much as adults do; and a community that fails to provide them with an opportunity to ask those questions, and a safe environment in which to do so, will find that once they lost the interest of the child, the parent's interest is soon to follow. Likewise, if adults are not comfortable seeking the answers they have, then no matter how engaged the youth are, the possibilities of them becoming participating members of the community are slim. On the flip side, when a parish focuses heavily on youth, or families, what happens when adults without children, or without a spouse, find their way into the community? Even if they are able somehow to develop relationships with members, and ideally one with Christ, unless a person is able to break through to the inner circle of the community, they will remain on the periphery at best; or seek deeper relationships elsewhere.

Based on the author's method of helping a parish find ways to invite and welcome new members (and to further engage those who are already part of the community), I believe what the author is saying is that a key deciding factor in a person's commitment to becoming a fully participating member of the community is the image of the community we portray. If the image is genuine from the start, if there is a clear path to follow to get beyond any barriers to relationship, and if what people find is what is expected (and hoped for) then the chances of a person making such an commitment increase dramatically.

The bottom line, what I take away from this author's work, is that inviting is not something we do once in a lifetime, it must be continuous and done for the right reasons. Likewise, welcoming (or hospitality) does not end at the front door, but must be part and parcel of all that we are and all that we do. While the smile on our face is important, it cannot just be something we do when we know we are being looked at. The joy a smile reveals must be genuine, because guess what, we are always being watched. Not just by God, but by all those around us. When the joy we express is real, it shows. Something I have taken away from all my readings thus far, when this type of joy is encountered, people want to embrace it, they want to know it for themselves, and they want to share it with others.

Next week's review: Given to Hospitality by D. Hardy Ashbury